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This is a step by step tutorial on how to deal with anxiety
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Most of anxiety you could heal with Going to the gym with reading books with Meditating but those are only Band-Aid Solutions you need to find it at its Source and many times anxiety comes from Some type of codependent behavior on Some type of relationship it can be a Very intimate relationship with your Lover like what it was for mine it can Be with a business partner which what it Started moving me into I started feeling Anxiety with everyone around me I just Literally started feeling crazy [Music] So several years ago I thought it was a Really good idea to go ahead and move my Girlfriend in at the time and I thought It was gonna be great because every Single day we were going to sleep Together and every single day she was Going to go ahead and make me food and Every single day it would have been so Optimized where essentially I could Focus on business and she could just go Ahead and for example focus on whatever Feminine things that she needed to do in The house but for some reason as we Started moving in together and as she Started living with me for some reason As the relationship went by and by and By and by for some reason I started Feeling more anxiety in my chest inside My stomach inside my body this weird Overwhelming feeling where I just
Couldn't escape it I couldn't sleep I Couldn't think I couldn't focus and when I was younger I didn't understand what Anxiety is you know it's just like this Buzzword that you hear grown-ups kind of Like talk about and I was like oh well That would never happen to me what are These emotions that you're talking about Why can't you just be happy like that's What I was always constantly thinking About when I was younger these parents And these adults saying oh I having Anxiety I was like I just didn't Understand it but now more than ever I Started realizing just how addicted to That feeling I was and how it was just Overwhelming every aspect of my life Like I remember I would just worry about The littlest things like if I was Talking to a business partner I'll just Reread the same text over and over and Over and over again to make sure that I Didn't mess up or make sure that I Didn't accidentally insult him almost as If I had like some Tourette's or Something like that every single time I Would go ahead and message the girl that I was dating at the time I was like did I go ahead and for example say something That might hurt her feelings or every Single time I was talking to another Mentor maybe I was talking to I had this Weird fear of thinking that when I Texted him something that I texted him
Something that was like completely Completely rude and that he would never Talk to me again and all the business And the money that I was making would Just be gone right before me and it was All of these illogical fears illogical Fears that all stem from relationships With other people and I started seeing What was the cause of this right because For anxiety and many people might come Up in different ways to come up it might Come up in the relationship with their Money it might come up with their Relationship with their lovers it might Come up with their relationships with Just other people their co-workers their Business partners they might come up With a relationship with themselves and As I started realizing if I wanted to Fix this overwhelming feeling where I Just couldn't Escape it right from Either literally like literally I tried Doing everything Escape it I was like Going to the gym two three four times a Day just so I wouldn't think I would Constantly throw myself in work just so I couldn't think right I would Constantly find something to go and know That pain and you know when I was Younger I never understood why people Like became alcoholics when they were Older but then in that moment in time I Remember actively thinking man if I Literally just got drunk this feeling
Would go away this feeling would go away And again I didn't understand how to go Ahead and do that but like with anything In life I wanted to go ahead and find What the source was what is the source If I wanted to learn how to handle my Anxiety I needed to figure out well what Was actually the source of the anxiety And many of the times the source of Anxiety is in your interpersonal Relationships with other people your Lover business partners friends family Or even yourself and I started realizing That the main cause of this was actually The relationship when I moved my Russian Girlfriend in with me at the time right I didn't understand this but literally The anxiety that was caused in my life That overwhelming feeling was caused by Not having boundaries and not knowing Exactly when to express my truths when I Needed to go ahead and do that I can Tell you exactly how it started because When I first moved her in I didn't Understand that oh yeah this is this is Just me fun and rainbows and Everything's gonna be good I didn't Understand the consequences if you do Not understand how to set boundaries and How to express your needs and wants for Example when she first moved in Everything was good man the first couple Months you know everything was good love Making was consistent she was cooking me
Food I was focusing on business Everything was great everything was Great but I remember the exact moment Where I guess the anxiety started Happening right so essentially what was Going on is in my business it started Dying right it was around the time of The lockdown the world was kind of like Messed up so everything that you were Trying to do to make money it was either Doing really really well or doing really Really really bad so initially in the Beginning end of things it was really Really bad for me so my money was going Down And I didn't feel like a man at all Right I was like okay here I am supposed To protect and provide and now I can't Even go ahead and pay the bills and I'm Living in this big place that I couldn't Essentially afford and now I'm just Freaking out in my mind because I'm like Looking at my bank account wondering how Much time it is before I run out of Money and then I literally have to go Ahead and tell the person that I cared About a lot that you know we have to do Something different right so I would Essentially tell her I'd be like yo you Know like right now in the past when you Met me we were in a feast mode right but Now we're kind of like in a famine mode We need to go ahead and understand that This is winter we need to buckle down I
Need to focus on the business uh but Again one of the things that ended up Happening of course she started seeing Other things that other people in other Relations were having and the people Around them all the guys were giving you Know their Russian girlfriends like Jewelry and rings so in her mind she's Like well my man needs to go ahead and Give me jewelry and Rings if he loves me Because all of these guys are giving Jewelry to their girlfriends that means They love them so if my man doesn't go Ahead and give me jewelry then he Doesn't love me essentially she Expressed this to me and in that moment Of time I'm like baby now is not the Time to probably go ahead and buy Jewelry right I need to go and focus on Business I could go and make money in The future I'll go ahead and get you Something more better But that's what I wish I would have said Back then I didn't know how to exactly Express this because I didn't want to go And hurt her feelings right and I just Wanted to make her make sure she's like Always happy and as I said that and I Did not express that she essentially Said no I want it and I didn't know how To say no and eventually I ended up Saying yes and that was the moment I Guess of the start of the anxiety it was Something that I went against what I
Actually wanted and I did something just To go ahead and appease the people Around me but when you start doing Things just so that other people like You a little bit more you start liking Yourself a little bit less and it is in That moment of you disrespecting Yourself that anxiety is Bored it might Not be the crazy anxiety that's Overwhelming but it is a seed that turns Into something that is that could Possibly destroy your life so that was The first aspect and as we started Spending more and more time together we Started only spending time with each Other we started moving into a smaller Home we downsized so that we could go Ahead and for example focus on business And I didn't have that much expenses and I was just me and her What happened was every single day was Like a test of my boundaries a test of Knowing exactly when to say no when to Say yes when to express my needs and Wants and want to actually put my Boundaries up but not also confuse those Boundaries with walls because walls are Completely different when you create a Wall no one can even understand what You're actually thinking about Boundaries are healthy where you Understand okay well this is exactly What my values are you are impinging on My values I need to go ahead and you
Know let you know that this is the line Not to cross but the problem with me is I didn't understand that because growing Up you know like when I go ahead and Understand what I learned what my Long-term Dynamics is if you have like For example a relationship in your mom And dad where you know the dad was a Leader and the mother was for example The one that followed the father and it Was like traditional relationships Essentially what would happen is you Would adopt that role but essentially What I adopted was my entire life my mom Always had the frame my mom always kind Of controlled the entire household Because of that because I was used to my Mother being in the dominant frame in The relationship between Mom and Dad Guess what I adopted when I was like oh Now I'm in a loving relationship let me Throw away all the things that I learned In personal development and now when I Go ahead and for example have someone Live with me we start becoming more and More co-dependent and it's actually that Codependency that created the anxiety It's a co-dependency that I learned from My parents on understanding okay dad Used to be the leader he lost a bunch of Money then Mom started leading to go Ahead and make sure that she was safe And secure and her kids were safe and Secure that I started realizing oh well
Maybe in my relationship my mom I like Literally like do you understand if you Do not understand the Dynamics that you Your mom and dad had with each other That you will essentially adopt the Exact same frames and mental models and Relationship mentalities as your parents And I didn't realize at the time that I Was essentially training the girl that I Was dating into my mother as weird as it Freaking sounds right and it's because I Did not understand what I was learning From them and what I needed to go ahead And do differently so I understand that This was essentially the cause of for Example all of my anxiety and I Literally tried everything right so I Can tell you all the things that it did To deal with it because it was just Insane man like I was literally Messaging mentors and friends and Business partners and I had all this Weird anxiety of just like what if I Said the wrong thing right I couldn't Turn off my brain there were moments Where literally my mind would just Chatter and chatter and chatter and Chatter I'd wanted to shut up and I Couldn't sleep and then in the morning I Would just be completely tired and Completely dazed and not focused because The fact that like there was this crazy Voice on the side of my brain just Constantly being worried about all the
Time and it sucks when you're constantly Worried about all the things about Finances about your relationship about Your Fitness about your health about Everything and started coming up in Weird different sicknesses and and Ailments and injuries and all that stuff And I was wondering what was going on so I could tell you all the things that I Tried calling it right one of the things That I tried calling it was just Throwing myself at the gym right so I Was going to the gym way too many times Man like probably two or three times a Day plus I was doing like Jiu Jitsu Right twice a day right so I was Literally physically beating up my body Because the only time I didn't think was When I was in my body right But obviously long term that didn't end Up working out because as you start Doing more and more martial arts and Jiu Jitsu the the likeliness of injury just Increases right so it worked for just a Little bit it worked for just a little Bit but because I felt so much anxiety On one end of the pendulum I threw Myself to the other end of the pendulum And I felt even more anxiety once that Was gone once I for example got injured So the going to the gym and the Fitness Works in moderation but because I didn't Do moderation I ended up getting injured Multiple different times and it was
Weird because when I was younger I never Got injured but because it's anxiety Propelled me to go ahead and run away From it now I'm going extreme to the Other end of things in my reality I am Now getting injured left and right just Because I had to go ahead and run Towards other end so obviously when the Going to the gym and doing exercise and Doing you know the sparring and all that Stuff didn't work because now I'm like Injured and I'm sitting the next thing I Started doing was just reading books I Started realizing if if I was reading Books and I was occupied my on learning Something else about anxiety right I was Reading books about like stoicism and Marcus Aurelius and all these like Ancient Stokes and all that stuff if I Could occupy My Mind by reading books And then I can actually observe my Thinking mind right but of course you Could only read so many books every Single day like there was just a point Where I replaced all the time I was at The gym with all the time reading which Is great because I learned so much stuff But then I can't live in books I have to Live in the real life right so another Thing that I started doing this actually Really helped a lot was meditation right So I remember I would literally just There were times where I would just feel Crazy so I'll just sit and observe my
Thoughts for hours on end like sometimes If I the anxiety was overwhelming I Would just sit for an hour or two and Not do anything I was like okay let me do the opposite Thing let me go ahead and run one way Which was like literally fighting Fighting fighting fighting fighting let Me go the other way which is just Reading reading reading reading and then Let me go the other way which is just Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing Nothing I went from Pure physical to Pure mental to Pure nothing And again like I would just do that Every single day like the girl that I Was dating at the time was just like What the heck is he doing he's literally Just sitting for hours and hours and Hours not doing anything right like Hours and hours like I'm telling you Hours and hours and hours a day not Doing anything just sitting and Observing my mind I got very into like Buddhism and I started reading a bunch About like the Buddha's life and Spirituality and meditation and Observing the thoughts and observing the Breath because understand this anxiety Comes because the fact that you lose Your mind and you lose your mind because You lose touch and focus in your breath So literally for hours I'm like anxiety Anxiety anxiety just breathe anxiety
Anxiety anxiety anxiety just breathe Anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety just Breathe but no matter what I did If I'm gonna be straight up with you all Of those were just kind of uh just Remedies for the symptoms of anxiety When the deep cause of it was because I Did not know how to express my Boundaries so simple as that most of Anxiety you could heal with going to the Gym with reading books with meditating But those are only Band-Aid Solutions You need to find it at its source and Many times anxiety comes from some type Of codependent Behavior on some type of Relationship It could be a very intimate relationship With your lover like what it was for Mine it could be with a business partner Which what it started moving me into I Started feeling anxiety with everyone Around me I just literally started Feeling crazy I started reading books About like addiction I remember reading All these books about you know the the Steps of what happens when you're like In N A or Narcotics Anonymous I Literally started reading everything Because I didn't realize that I was Addicted to my thoughts and all this Actually some from not actually setting Boundaries and frames with the girl that I moved in with me and I started Realizing that actually being in a
Relationship not only can give you the Most amount of joy in life but it's also The biggest source of pain and I Realized it was a big source of pain not Because it was her fault but because I Did not understand exactly how to Express my boundaries and express my Emotions so essentially what did I learn From this what I learned when I dove Deep in this is the reason why we were Arguing all the time and why we're Conflicting all the time is because we Had different values it doesn't matter Who you are it doesn't matter who you do Business with it doesn't matter who you Fall in love with if you do not have the Same values long-term wise the relay Relationship will not work will not work So clearly the reason why the anxiety Happened was she had a set of certain Values I had a set of certain values we Did not align and obviously what's going To happen is one person is going to have To compensate negotiate or appease other Person to get into the other person's Values and what I realized what I've Learned from my mom and dad is I was Appeasing her and getting into her Values on what was important to her but Then I started throwing away all the Things that was actually important to me And that was where the anxiety was born Was I disrespected my boundaries I was Like you know my values aren't important
Let me go and just focus on her because When Mom was freaking out dad would Literally throw away his boundaries he Would throw away his values and actually Go ahead and for example appease my mom This is crazy this is literally crazy so When I understood that my boundaries Were this and these are the values that Were important to me it was like Personal development it was growth it Was Traditional Values it was doing all These things and she had different Values as well that was important to her Which you know is important to her What's important to me we started Realizing that long-term mice we weren't The best partners for each other because I didn't want to go and change my values She didn't want to go and change her Values but yet because I was worried about losing her for my Fear and my scarcity mindset I started Throwing away my boundaries throwing Away my values and getting into her Reality and getting into her boundaries And adopting her values and that's one Of the most fastest ways to go out and Create anxiety adopting someone else's Values as your own you see this over and Over again probably when you're watching Social media you're looking at other People living a life that they're doing And you're seeing a business model that They're doing they're doing something
That they're doing you're seeing their Love life and you're like okay well let Me go ahead and do that so you compare Yourself to others and automatically you Start feeling anxiety because now you're Living in other some other person's Value systems you understand that the Biggest cause of anxiety is when you Live in other people's values instead of Your main values It's all sum of value so essentially What happened when I wrote down what my Values were and I understood what her Values were I realized that this wasn't Going to work it's either I to change my Values to go ahead ahead and appease her Or she had to go and change her values And appease me which way no matter what Happens both would be unhappy so clearly It was time for us to uncouple clearly It was time for us to kind of separate But we couldn't because we were so Co-dependent on each other we were so Co-dependent on each other where it's Like I needed her to feel happy she Needed me to feel happy and before we Knew it it just started getting worse And worse and worse and worse and worse And worse and worse because we didn't Understand and we didn't begin that Actually when you should start a Relationship it should be because you Have similar values that way you don't Have to go ahead and negotiate it's just
Like this is exactly what that other Person believed too so if I was going to Tell you how I actually solved all of That anxiety is the moment I understood My values I had to go ahead and let that Relationship go we both had to let each Other go and that was one of the hardest Things for both of us but long term wise It would be the best for us in terms of Growth because we were too coin Abandoned on each other and then what I Started realizing is for me to go ahead And for example grow as a man is I had To go ahead and Chase my values what Were my values there's authenticity it Was Freedom it was Health it was travels All of these things things that were Completely different than her values and I had to go deep into that and for some Reason when I started going deep into my Values and started chasing what was Important to me All the anxiety just went away I didn't Have to constantly read all the time I Didn't constantly have to sit and think About nothing all the time I didn't Constantly have to go ahead and go to The gym all the time all of my anxiety Just completely disappeared and this is What happens when you start living life In your highest value you start filling Your day with the things that are most Important to you all the anxiety just Goes away if your job is the main cause
Of your anxiety leave it if a Relationship is the main cause of your Anxiety leave it if someone that you're Talking to could be a friend a family Member an old high school friend an old Lover if they're causing the anxiety It's because you are living in their Values and you are not living true to What is most important to you and the Moment I started living my life in my Values and I started chasing that and Documenting it and creating it and and Start becoming this person that just Grows in all aspects of Life the anxiety Just disappeared and you could also do The exact same thing but the problem Most people is they don't have the time Money and location for them to actually Go out and do that the moment I created Time money location freedom I was able To set the Dynamics of any relationship That I wanted if you need help with that Then make sure you check out the links Below if you want to start an e-commerce Business check out the third link below If you want to go ahead and join my Personal branding Mastermind check out The second link below and book a call With me and my team if you want to go Ahead and for example find the fastest Way to create passive income online with Artificial intelligence check out the First link in the link below Everything
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