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This ought to be less emotionally Reactive in your relationships now when You actually are the most emotionally Reactive that's when you actually track The most pain in your life it doesn't Matter if it's relationships with women Or men it doesn't matter if it's Relationship with business being Emotionally reactive is not good at all It's not a good thing like no one wants To go out and do business with you no One wants to go ahead and make love with You no one wants to go out and be around You being emotionally reactive is one of The most negative forms of energy that You could ever have and you need to go Ahead and get rid of it fast and and I Just knew this the hard way because I Was emotionally reactive in everything Right there was a point in my time where I was emotionally reactive in for Example business Partnerships and no one Wanted to go and do business with me and I was constantly angry at them on why They wouldn't give me a shot and blaming Them and being a victim and complaining And doing all these things and guess What that just made me more emotionally Reactive there were times where I was in A healthy loving relationship but Because I wasn't you know for example Just emotionally stable and I was mostly Reactive to everything that for example She would do guess what I just became
Very unattractive as a man and it's not Something that I'm proud of saying but It's just something you need understand That the more emotionally reactive you Are the less attractive that you are in All aspects you can't attract the love Of your life you can attract a good Happy healthy relationship you can't Attract money in your life People and things and money all that is Energy and if you are mostly reactive it Will leave you it will leave you because People could go out and sense the Neediness they could sense the Negativity and they can sense it for me So exactly how did I Become emotionally reactive because You've got to go ahead and find out Exactly where it all started right uh so There's many different times that I was Like emotionally reactive I want to tell Each one of these stories because Depending on where you're coming in from Life maybe you resonate and deal with at Each one of them maybe it could be Business or it could be with love and Happiness so it's actually first started Off with for example love right because The biggest pain point and the biggest Pleasure that most people have in Anyone's life is literally in their Relationships it will cause either the Most amount of happiness or the most Amount of pain so let's actually start
There because many times the money that We actually want to make is just so that We can have the freedom to spend more With the people that we actually care About right so I became very emotionally Reactive I remember this right I Remember this like it was yesterday Because it freaking hurts so bad and That was I remember when I first moved a Girl in with me Everything was fine I was in a mostly Reactive everything was beautiful but I Was like you know what I'm gonna have The best idea and I'm gonna go ahead and Move the girl in with me we're going to Have we're going to make love all the Time she's gonna cook me food this is Gonna be great I'm a freaking genius I'm Going to move the girl in with me right But the only problem with that is I did Not know how to set boundaries and I Didn't know how to go ahead and for Example speak my communication and it's Not her fault it's all mine right it's Literally all mine right so essentially What happened Is when you live with someone Essentially what happens is you have a Set form of values she has a set form of Values and eventually what happens when You spend enough time with each other's You will have values that aren't aligned And they will clash and what happens is One person will literally have to
Sacrifice their values so go ahead and Appease the other person now for me I Didn't like drama I didn't like for Example anyone I didn't like any Negative energy so what I learned is I Was just going to go ahead and I'm gonna Go ahead and appease her I literally go Ahead and appease her and every single Time she said things even though I Didn't want to say for example yes I I Or even though I wanted to say no I Ended up just saying yes just because I Did not know how to communicate certain Things right so you you need to Understand when it comes to for example Emotional reactivity you need to Understand where what was that moment That you started becoming emotionally Reactive because looking back I know the Exact same moments it was multiple times Where I knew I wanted to go ahead and Say no but I ended up saying yes anyways And I went against what actually wanted And every single time this happened I Lost disrespect I lost respect for Myself I lost respect for myself to the Point where it got so intense where the Only way that I could actually Communicate is just being very Emotionally reactive because I wasn't Feeling hurt I wasn't feeling like I was Respected I didn't feel like any one of These things And that's when it gets like very very
Unattractive like very very unattractive So first started off in my love life Right in my dating life I remember you Know I was like losing a bunch of money And she was like you know what in my Culture because she was like Russian she Was like in my culture you know what you Do to show me love and I'm like what Baby she's like you got to go ahead and Buy me a ring and I was like I want to spend money on a ring you know It's like like the money was going down There was a bunch of bad things Happening in business I didn't want to Spend money on a ring right and what Happened was one day like I just kept on Saying no I just kept on saying no and One day I cracked and she was like no I Want to bite she was like crying she was Crying she was crying and I was like yes I'll buy you a ring because I just don't Want to cry anymore and even though in That moment looking back that was the Moment that I started becoming Emotionally reactive because I didn't Actually say what it is that I logically Wanted to say and because of that pain And resentment that started building From that it started just going deep in My freaking body man Deep in my body to the point where it Would just start coming out in passive Aggressive behaviors later on right so Understand this the reason why you are
Are emotionally reactive now is because You disrespected yourself maybe eight Months ago maybe years ago And you didn't actually dealt with that So now you're emotionally reactive Because you're just essentially a little Child you don't know how to communicate So the only thing you could now do is do Temper tantrums you just speak with Passive aggressive behaviors maybe Crying maybe forms of you know passive Aggressive manipulation because you Didn't express your truth in that moment In time right so that was the first time That I literally lost respect for myself I said I said yes to a thing that I Essentially want to say no with right it Didn't mean I didn't want to buy her the Ring it was just in that moment in time I just felt like the business wasn't Going really well and I just thought it Was in the best logical decision go Ahead and buy a ring in that moment Right and because I said yes when she Was crying you know that kind of taught Her how to go ahead and get things for Me and that also taught me to just Figure out oh well if I wanted to stop Creating drama this is how I exactly go Ahead and for example stop it which Obviously is unhealthy and obviously It's all my fault not hers all my fault Because of the fact that I didn't Actually understand boundaries and how
To actually say no right because like my Entire life I was just being like a nice Guy right like And then this happened another time it's Like uh she was like you know what Mike I was like I remember I was like waking Up just waking up and she's like I want A dog I was like baby we're not getting A dog I don't want a dog and then she Was like oh I want a dog I want a dog I Was like baby like it's not good we're Gonna start traveling it's gonna be a Lot of responsibility I want a dog and Then we got to the point where I was Like she was like oh well let's just Look at it let's just look at it so we Literally go ahead and look at the dog I'm freaking driving for an hour Apparently this dog place is an hour Away and now it's like all this time It's like sunken cost because now I'm Investing my time into it right we go to This place there's this freaking dog and Then the moment you just hold the little Baby puppy and and she sees it she's Like I want it and I was like No And Then again the sadness and the drama Started coming up and I was like fine Let's just get the dog and I got the Freaking dog that was the second time That was the second time that I even Though I wanted to say no I ended up Saying yes And it was those two times that actually
Made the relationship get worse and Worse and worse and worshipers again not Because of her it's because I didn't Understand how to set certain boundaries In the beginning right and I started Losing respect for myself because I Wasn't speaking my truth she started Losing respect for me because how can She respect me if I didn't actually Respect myself right and it started Getting worse and worse and worse and Worse to the point where I was just Becoming emotionally reactive where Every single time you know we wanted to Have a communication there was times Where literally you know I would just I Wouldn't know how to communicate I would Want to scream I would want to yell I Would want to go ahead and because I Felt like she couldn't hear me again it Was in her fault it's because I didn't Know how to express what my truth was Earlier on and the reason why you're Emotionally reactive right now is Because you don't know exactly how to Express your truth earlier on it's the Only way that you can think that you Could express the truth is just by Reacting throwing a freaking uh temper Tantrum screaming yelling and fighting That's why many beautiful relationships Happen and end up very bad it's because They go from very healthy to emotionally Reactive so once I started realizing
That there was a freaking pattern the Next thing that you want to go ahead and Figure out is where did you learn this From right where did you learn this from And I realized that I learned this from For example mom and dad like you learn Most of the ways that you deal with People just from your mom and dad I was Like okay well how did this happen with My mom and dad okay well Mom would go Ahead and be angry about something Dad We go ahead and also be angry and Eventually what would happen is to to Stop the drama and the fighting in my Household dad would be like okay Whatever you want happy wife happy life And again ever since I was younger this Was just ingrained into my mind Ingrained in my mind and just thinking That this is just the way of life right Because remember you don't fall in love With what is healthy you fall in love With what is familiar if you are used to Seeing your parents fight about certain Things and argue about certain things And being emotionally reactive about Certain things guess what your natural State is being emotionally reactive and All of these things the moment you guys Understand that you need to ask yourself Then the next thing is is it worth Adopting the same characteristics as Your parents Because if that's all you do you're
Going to attract the exact same Relationships as your mom and dad and Even though it could be a loving Relationship at times there's also times Where maybe you noticed that they were Fighting about certain things they're Constantly arguing they're constantly Complaining they're constantly going Through drama Do you essentially want that because Essentially what you're doing is you're Copying your mom and dad from the Behaviors that they learn on how to Communicate with yourself and that's why Your relationship right now doesn't Matter if it's business or wealth or Finances you're just being emotionally Reactive because you've learned that From Mom and Dad man mom and dad and Here's the thing okay I tried so many different things but I Went down the Tantra route and Spirituality route I remember like I Hired this like Tantra coach and Essentially what you wanted to do she Was like just cry in front of your Partner so I was like okay this person's An expert let me go and try this so I Remember like hiring the spirituality Person and she had me like freaking Hitting a pillow and howling at the moon And crying in front of my partner and And I just tested it and and guess what It didn't work
It didn't work right it actually made Her not respect me even more right Because now I'm like freaking crying now I'm freaking crying because this Tantra Teacher is like crying she's like Freaking beating a drum and I'm like Crying I'm like this is exactly what's Going to heal my relationship with Mom Dad didn't work didn't work and Essentially what you need to go ahead And do is you especially if you're a man It's different if you're a woman if You're a woman you need to go and Process all these emotions allow Yourself to cry out yourself do all These things but if you're a man you Need to go ahead and take off those Emotions and channel it in a healthy Vehicle many times it's either fighting Right many times it's either their Business many times success in other Endeavors of life right you need to go And transmute it right because men what They need to do is they need to take all The traumatic energy and they need to Transmute it into becoming the best Version of themselves women need to Literally take that energy express it And then get rid of it so that she can Become the best version of herself right And what you guys understand is who you Learn this from is you need to go ahead And learn it from someone that for Example has the results that you wanted
Right because one of the things that I Was learning is I was like let me go Ahead and learn how to be emotionally Unreactive like in life right and I Started realizing that I was being Emotionally unreactive in life but Essentially I was learning from people That didn't have positive relationships Right so I was like okay well I'm taking Advice from people that don't Essentially have the results it is that I wanted I mean sometimes people are Like oh just crying for a freaking pill And I was like crying crying crying it Just wasn't doing anything right but Obviously essentially what happens when You go ahead and make a bunch of Mistakes even in your current mistake in Your current relationship sometimes you Got to realize that maybe it can't be Fixed like the hard truth is sometimes You have been so emotionally reactive in A relationship that it literally can't Be fixed there's so much trauma in it There's so much you know identity in it There's so much for example anchors in It that you literally got to go ahead And just separate yourself from the Source which sometimes it could be Someone else around you could be a Business partner it could be someone in Your in a loving relationship with right And sometimes you have to touch the hot Stove to realize that it's hot and to
Realize that you're in pain to know that You don't want to touch that self again And what you need to understand if You're emotionally reactive about Certain people you need to express all That pain right now Let it all go but understand that all This was because you didn't understand Exactly what you want out of life and What you don't want out of life earlier On in the relationship this happens in All aspects in life this happens in Business that happens in love and Happiness the reason why I became a Mostly reactive in a lot of aspects Right even in business there was times Where I was doing the exact same thing I Was like having these conversations with My business partner and every single Time he would talk to me I would just Get pissed off and angry right it's Because not about that moment in time it Was something that happened months ago Maybe years ago that I did not express My truth now it's like when you're Dating a girl And out of nowhere she's yelling at you Because you didn't put down on the Toilet seat I almost fell in the toilet Seat in my blood got wet and this is all Your fault Maybe years ago that she didn't fully Express nor did you fully talk about in That moment in time and every Oscar's
Life your level of emotional reactivity The reason why it will get worse is Because of the direct proportion to how Much you keep it bottled inside And if you're a woman you have to Express it and let it go it could be Like Tantra it could be like through a Pillow it could be you know going Through one of those paths or for men You need to channel it into becoming the Best version of yourself go hit the gym Go take some lessons in boxing or Muay Thai or Jujitsu go build the business And take all that energy and focus on That focus on your health you got to go In and do that you need to go ahead and Transmute that right and when it comes To it what's going to happen is you're Going to have another relationship in The future You're going to have you know another Loving partner you're going to have Another person that you're going to do Business with but what you need to do in That moment in time is take all the Lessons you've learned in the past and That you've learned this from your Parents and realize to not do the exact Same mistakes in your next relationship Your next business relationship your Next loving relationship And the reason why most people just go From one emotionally reactive Relationship to another emotionally
Reactive relationship is because they Didn't take the lessons that they made In the past they didn't learn their Relations with their mom and dad they Didn't overcome that and I'm telling This right now many of our conversations And our Communications that we've had in Life is all sent to our relationship With Mom and Dad right every single Relationship our relationship with money Mom and dad our relationship with Success mom and dad our relationship With eating mom and dad our relationship With love and happiness mom and dad our Relationship with which what is good and What's not good Mom and Dad we learn all Of that we learn all the beautiful Things from our mom and dad but we also Learned all the bad stuff and all the Traumatic stuff and all the bad ways to Communicate and if you truly want to be Less emotionally reactive number one you Have to first begin with understanding The source of your lessons of how you Were taught to be emotionally reactive Was literally seeing your mom and dad Being emotionally reactive and Understanding that you modeling that Exact same behavior as them isn't Freaking worth it the second thing is You need to go ahead and speak your Truth right off the bat in a healthy way You don't start yelling it but if Someone crosses your boundaries you have
To go ahead and sit them decide don't do It in a public setting right take them Off the corner and be like hey these are My values this is what I want this is What I expect from you and if you go Ahead and disrespect me like this you Know it's just I can't I can't I can't Be around you right you have to you you Have to be willing to lose people way Earlier on because the reason why the Resentment happens is because you were So afraid of losing this person That you just kept saying yes when you Wanted to say no you kept on saying no Or you wanted to say yes and he's kept Around them because you were more afraid To lose them right to the point where Now like like now it just got too worse We're now the only aspect that you could Do is you're going to lose them anyways Right you're gonna lose people it's Either very short term where it's the Least amount of time like pain but you At least respect yourself and you don't Become emotionally reactive or it's Gonna be the slow burning path where It's gonna be one years two years three Years four years right you're afraid to Lose this person but now you don't want To communicate so now you're freaking Crying to a pillow and you're blaming Them and shaming them and making them Feel guilty and projecting your pain Onto them and now what's beautiful turns
Into a big painful experience and then You lose them and not only that but you Lost a year or two of your life again The people in your life if they do not Have the same values as you you will Lose them it's either short term where The pain is short but now you have all The time to learn from it or it could be Long term when you can waste five or ten Years out of your life years that you Can't get back and that pain now became More painful right and that's why the Secret of life if you really want to go Ahead and become less emotionally stable Again understand your parents understand Your relations with them number two Speak way before it's too late third one Learn from your past relationships not Make the same freaking mistakes and many Times it's because you said yes when you Want to say no or you said no when you Want to say yes and the fourth thing is You need to go ahead and only spend time With people that have similar values as You because the reason why people always Negotiate and people complain and argue Is because they do not have the same Values and if you could just spend time Being with people that have same values Because you focus on your time and money Freedom you don't have to deal with this Stuff if you need help with creating Time and money freedom so that you have The luxury to spend it finding people
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