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This is an explanation on what is trauma and how to overcome trauma in a relationship.
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**DISCLAIMER** I am not a financial advisor and anything that I say on this YouTube channel should not be seen as financial advice. I am only sharing my biased opinion based off of speculation and my personal experience. You should always understand that with investing there is always risk. You should always do your own research before making any investment.
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I remember my first love you know I met Her in college and and I thought that You know maybe I was just gonna go ahead And sleep around maybe I was just gonna Have have fun but for some reason this Girl seemed very special this girl Seemed something and someone that I Wanted to go and spend a very long time With and this was someone that I Generally want to go ahead and maybe Even have a future family with and it Was very very scary because when you go Ahead and kind of like fall in love Deeply especially when you're very very Young not only do you give yourself a Chance to feel amazing pleasure in life But you also risk yourself and actually Feel a lot of pain and many of the times This pain can actually turn very Traumatic you know the trauma from your First love the trauma from you know not Just feeling the Deep amount of love and Passion that you felt when you fell in Love for the first time but also the Deep amount of pain that you fall out of And what was once beautiful ends up Turning very very traumatic and I Remember this right I literally remember This I remember going to college Seeing this girl for the first time Telling myself I wasn't going to go into A long-term relationship telling myself No the point about college is to sleep With as many people as possible to get
It all in my system so that after College I could literally go ahead and Get married and have a kid and start a Family but literally like the first the First day it was it was orientation week I saw her she was she was very very Beautiful and literally like in a movie Like in a movie where you know the guy Pretends to catch a football and Pretends to kind of like bump into her And say sorry and oh hey hi what's your Name that's literally how we met and I Saw her we were kind of like in the Beach and I told my friend hey throw Football towards your direction and I Kind of just went and tried catching the Football and just pretended to bump into Her which I think I bumped into her a Little bit too hard she found the water And then as we got up you know that was That was it you know that was it I knew For a fact that we were going to be Together and it started off very Beautifully it started off very great There was like a lot of Beautiful Moments and memories that we had in that Moment but because I didn't know exactly What my traumas were from when I was Younger I since brought my traumas up in To this relationship and what was very Very beautiful started becoming very Very poisonous and very very toxic and Whenever you find yourself in these Situations you can never blame the other
Person what you got to understand is you Are essentially taking the traumas you Had when you were younger from your Parents from what you learned from your Parents and you're bringing that into The relationship And this happened over and over and over Again how come every single relationship That I had ever since I was younger Would always start off beautifully right But after the end of it it would create More pain than good where essentially What started off as love and happiness And deep passion turned into fighting And yelling and arguing conflict and Throwing things and all these things Right and I was always curious why does Every single beautiful relationship that I have end up into a very very deep Seated trauma and what I realized is Every single relationship that I had After the trauma got worse and worse and Worse and the trauma that I had in Previous relationships I would always Bring into the next relationship I was Almost going crazy I was like why why Why am I almost now not even wanting to Go in a relation why why do I not just Want to go out and sleep around with as Many people as possible and it's because I realized that I had so much pain and Trauma from previous relationships And I had no idea how to overcome it That I'd rather just you know for
Example have just just sleep with as Many people as possible right and not Have to deal with like the attachment Anymore but obviously when I went and Did that it wasn't fulfilling either and When I was in a relationship I didn't Want to be in a relationship because of The trauma that I would cause in that Relationship and when I was dating Around I wanted to just be in a Relationship because I was like oh no This actually means anything and this is Kind of the major struggle in battle in Life it's like when you're single you Don't want to be single and when you're Not single you you want to be single and It's like this thing that you can't it's Like you can't have both right so how do I go ahead and overcome this how did I Go ahead and get to the point where I Was able to overcome this well Understand this this first thing that I Realized is you got to realize that the Major source of trauma that you have Isn't from your previous lovers at all It's from your parents it's from the Relationship the Dynamics that you had That you figured out when you were Younger and you saw for example mom and Dad and how they argued here's exactly The example for me right it's like when You're younger you do not fall in love With what is healthy you fall in love With what is familiar so what was
Familiar for me right well obviously the Idea of love was given to me initially From Mom and Dad so how did Mom and Dad Express their love when I was younger Well when I was younger we really didn't Have much right like my parents were Filipinos I came to America they were Immigrants and then they had me and my Sister And obviously when you go ahead and just Leave your entire life to go ahead and Go to a place where you know nobody and You have to go and financially provide For two kids that's freaking stressful Man that's that's freaking stressful so Some of my earliest memories when I was Younger was just hearing my mom and dad Fight just constantly fighting fighting Yelling screaming crying all these Things blaming each other talking to me Mom would go ahead and say hey come here Come to my room right your dad it's your Dad's fault that that we're struggling My dad having me coming into his room And he's like it's your mom's fault she Does all these things that we have no Money and he's just constantly confused Because here are these two people where Essentially if they love each other so Much and then they made me how come They're always fighting so essentially My idea of having to communicate my Problems and my challenges with other Person is through yelling screaming
Crying blaming shaming not talking them Directly talking to somebody else and Complaining to them about like your love Life and to experience that as a kid you Know you just think that okay well this Is just what it is when you're you're You're in love right so if that's how I Learned how to go and deal with Arguments guess what I did when I was in An argument with for example the woman That I'm dating I wouldn't talk to her Directly I would go ahead and complain And whine and argue and just talk bad About her behind her back to like my Friends which isn't a manly thing to go Ahead and do I would go ahead and yell And scream if she didn't understand me Uh go ahead and have like this little Immature temper tantrum and before you Know it what was beautiful was now Soiled and poisoned right I have a Really good example of this with my dog Right so my dog really loves meat right Really really loves me right it's this Bali dog it's very cute because when We're in Bali like she's really good at Just riding on my scooter so I'll be Riding on my scooter and she's literally On the scooter she's like very like like Almost jungle like dog where she's very Wild but she'll hop on the back of my Scooter kind of like how Pikachu would Just jump on the top of Ash's shoulders Back in Pokemon and this dog is like
Very beautiful it'll literally go I Didn't eat anything right and one day I Gave her like a bunch of raw meat put it On a bowl and she ate it it ate it but She left just a little bit and she left Just enough where the next day a bunch Of ants came onto the plate like a bunch Of ants and she saw that and she was a Little bit disgusted right so the next Time I put like meat on there she ate Less and left more meat on there because Maybe she didn't have the appetite and Then more ants got on her plate on her Bowl and this happened repeatedly until She started eating so little work even Though I put a lot of meat her favorite Food on the plate she was associated With so much ants on it so much bugs so Much like creatures and insects on it That even if the plate and the bowl was Clean and I washed it with soap and I Put like her favorite food on there she Would not eat it because she already has Soiled the memory in her mind on this Isn't a healthy place to eat because There's just a bunch of dead creatures And animals on it now that's the exact Same thing in relationships right Relationships were kind of like that Plate legs were kind of like that plate With your favorite fruit on it brawl it Takes is just a couple ants to start Losing your appetite and that's Literally what happened you know as I
Started arguing as I started fighting as I started doing all these things in my Relationship I just like like both of us just didn't Want to go out and eat from the plate Anymore right and the reason why is Because I just didn't realize that I was Adopting the same mistakes and traumas From my parents and I didn't know how to Actually heal that so how do you Actually go ahead and heal this right Now how I heal this is very very Interesting I yield this you know for myself right I Went to a bunch of like Tantra events And and seminars and dealing with Spirituality and dealing with sexuality And intimacy I also do this with my Partners because I understand that both Of us have like mommy and daddy issues And the worst thing that we could do in A relationship is bring the mommy and Daddy issues and traumas from past Relationships into this relationship I Literally have to go and do this for Both so how they did this back in the Day when I was like a jungle boy living In Bali wearing the same thing every Single day going through my spiritual Path is I would literally go ahead and Do something very similar I would go Ahead and sit on a pillow sit on a Pillow and in the front of me there was Another pillow right
And what I would do and what like the Tantrica would go ahead and tell me news You tell me to go ahead and close my Eyes now they're those nice like Spiritual like music in the background So it's obviously like very very helpful So I remember like doing this for the First time it was freaking weird because I think I did this in my early 20s which Was weird but I'm actually grateful Because most people don't figure this Out until they're in their 30s 40s and 50s and I remember just like meditating And just closing my eyes listening to This like older woman telling me exactly What to do and she said on the other Side of the pillow on the other pillow I Want you to imagine the parents that You're angry with the most right so In This Moment In Time usually it's like The opposite sex parent right it's an Opposite sex parent because they did Something to the same sex parent which You associate with that you're angry About right sometimes it's the same but Most attempts it's the opposite so I Remember like seeing my mom And just kind of like describing her Right in my mind so I'm like describing Her in front of me and essentially what This Tantra girl did which essentially Is like this woman that essentially is Really good at intimacy and all that Stuff she would tell me now what are all
The things that you were angry about at Your mother that you never had the Chance to tell her because of the fact That you were just too afraid when you Were younger and when you first kind of Confront yourself with this it's kind of Very hard because you don't want to Think about how deep that pain was right Many times we want to just shove it deep Inside our bodies but you don't realize That this is the thing that you're just Throwing up into your next relationship I remember just like looking at my mom And just like all the things that I was Angry about right So I started off with the options Experiment I had my mom in front of me I Was like I'm angry that you were yelling At dad I was angry that you know you Didn't understand dad I was angry that You were constantly doing X Y and Z and I would just keep on like like actually Yelling at this this imaginative figure In front of me uh like doing this entire Thing because what happens is there's a Lot of for example anger that you have In your childhood that you suppress that If you do not find a way to get out You're constantly passive aggressively Doing it with a bunch of people around You right and like this tantric teacher Would have me like hit on the pillow and Now I'm freaking crying and all these Things and and after a while
All that anger that I had for my mom was Just gone and it was just nothing but First it went into sadness because I was Like wow like you know she she had such A tough life like going into America and Literally trying to go ahead and provide For me and then what happens that anger Turns into sadness and that sadness Turns into gratitude and after that After that I was like you know I was Like I'm so grateful for her like she Literally had so it turns into Understanding where you realize it You're you're your mom had a harder life Than you she she had less than you and Now you have to go ahead and do whatever It takes to literally go ahead and make Sure that she's okay but you can never Feel love and gratitude if you don't Overcome the the anger and the sadness First And now the relationship with my mom is Like amazing man it's amazing and Because of that I'm able to go ahead and For example respect women and and Communicate with women way way way Better because I understood how to Actually fully get all of that baggage Out it's actually effectively Communicate with my mom in a way that Wasn't You know emotionally charged because That's what it is right the trauma that You had in your past relationships is
Because you were you got there was a Point where you became emotionally Charged where you had no idea to Communicate so you just started yelling And fighting and screaming because that Was your default what you learned does That make sense and then I did the exact Same thing with my dad I put my dad in Front of the pillow and I was like angry At him I was like why did you give up Your entrepreneurship dreams why did you Go ahead and for example drink so much When you were younger why did you go Ahead and for example yell and scream Why were you so strict when I was Younger I was angry I was angry because He was so freaking strict she was so Freaking strict I was so angry at him Right and then what happened is once I Let go of that anger I'm like hitting on The pillow I'm also crying as well Because when you go deep you realize That there's a lot of baggage from your Parents doesn't matter if you had good Parents or bad parents you literally Will always have trauma no matter what And when I started realizing that I was Like okay the anger once I got all the Anger out it went into sadness I was Like well what else could he do he just Lost a bunch of money right he was also In the other side of the world he had None of his like entrepreneur friends And brothers around him he was alone and
He had no money he was used to making a Lot of money when he was an entrepreneur In the Philippines and now he just has a Job now he's working a job that he Doesn't like now he's not fulfilled now His wife is like for example screaming And yelling all the time so of course he Would start drinking what else could you Do in that situation and that anger Turned into sadness turned into Understanding and turn into gratitude And now I have nothing but just Gratitude for both of my parents you Know they sacrifice so much and and I'm So grateful that I was able to see that In my 20s because most people don't see That until it's too late Too late and the worst thing you could Do is not be grateful for your parents While they are alive because you were Just filled with anger because of Something they did to you when you were Younger because you had all this anger And Trauma inside of you that you didn't Know how to communicate so while they Were alive you just never respected them You never gave them the time today and You never gave them gratitude for them Sacrificing my life for you and for them To just be gone forever and you living Life with regret because you were never Grateful for your parents while they Were alive and now you're forced to miss Them while they're gone forever living
Life in full regret and I'm just so Grateful that I did that in my early 20s Because now I have nothing but gratitude For my parents now once I was able to go Out and do that guess what I was able to Do with all my next relationships once I Was able to go and do that every single Relationship after that was like so much More healthy because I understood why my Parents did the certain things that they Did I understood that I was modeling Their behavior and I realized if I model Their behavior then I would just get What they have every single time every Single time and once I realized this for Myself I realized that like you also Have to be kind of the light for the Partner that you essentially have as Well so guess what like if if you're a Woman that dates me guess what you also Have to go and do you also do the exact Same thing so I remember like for Example Damian girl a while back and for Some reason every single time I did a Certain Behavior she would get triggered And react and normally my older self Would just start yelling back and being Triggered but because I understood that This was the behavior that I heard Learned from my parents this is a Behavior that she learned from her Parents so guess what I did oh a full Shaman mode on the girl that I was Dating I was like okay baby girl we're
Going to try this because you have mommy Daddy issues how I know this because I Had mommy dad issues I sexually heal This trauma right So I want full Shaman Bali like all These things I created this like safe Space in my bedroom put her on a pillow Did the exact same thing had her face a Pillow and I was behind her to just hold Her just in case she was like crying Played some very super bali-esque music And I guided her through this exact same Thing right or essentially what happened Was I would go ahead and have her do the Same thing sit and imagine the the Person that you're angry with the most The mother or father in this case it was Like for example her mother and she Described all the things that she was Angry about with her mother right and as She got more and more angry she was like Hitting the pillow and crying and all These things and all I could do as a man Is just hold space and not just be there For her right and she was initially shy And she was initially scared because It's kind of weird like many many women Kind of want to repress their emotions And shove it deep deep down they're Afraid of being emotional around like For example the men because most men Don't know how to exactly handle the Emotions of a woman But lucky for her I had four years in
Bali man so I understand this so she's Like hitting in the pillow she first Started off shy but then as she started Releasing it and releasing it and Releasing it you would see her getting Lighter and lighter and lighter she Would start yelling and scream at all The things that she was angry about her Mom but as she started screaming and Yelling and crying she started getting More and more and more quiet to the Point where she just ran out of things To be angry about with her mother and Again it was the exact same thing it was Sadness and after sadness it was Understanding and after understanding it Was gratitude And the beautiful thing that we ended up Doing after that is as she was crying as She was crying and I let her cry and I Was just holding space I was just making Sure that I was kind of like the rock While she was the storm right where I Was like in my masculine and she was Like in her feminine and as she was Crying and crying crying it was like Actually a beautiful thing to see her Just kind of purge all the trauma that She had in not only your past relations But like for example in a relationship With her mom and dad She just became so light so light and And so delicate and so beautiful and at That moment I told her I was like okay
I'm so proud of you baby like you were So strong you were so good I'm so proud Of you now what I want you to do is I Want you to imagine your younger self When you were five or six before you Experience the pain from your mom and Dad and I want you to imagine that self Your younger self your inner child who You were before you felt pain in front Of you on the pillow how does she look Is she a little shy right does she have A little smile on her face How happy is she is and she was like Describing her and you would see like The smile on her face and it was like so Beautiful she was like oh yeah my inner Child is so cute and so so lovely and She's shy and she's waving and she's Smiling and I was like what do you want To tell this inner child Like what do you want to tell her that You wish your mom told you this this Child in front of you this inner child That you have how do you want to go and Express your lover what are the things That your mom never told this child that You want to tell this child How happy are you for this child start Expressing all the things and positive Emotions that you have for this thing Tell her how amazing her future will be And as she starts talking to her inner Child it was like the most beautiful Thing man where since she was crying and
Smiling and laughing and all these Things and after that she just felt Light right and after that experience And I just like held her after that and She was like so happy and so delicate And so beautiful and so feminine there Was like a deeper connection after that There was a deeper connection after that And it was in that moment that we Stopped putting our traumas from past Relationships with our parents and past Relationships with like our lovers and He started clean with like a very very Clean step late and it was very very Beautiful and obviously after that a lot Of relaxation and integration so it's Like you know we went and got massages We went and swam we went in the sauna And the jacuzzi and all that stuff and I Had to start journaling all of those Things all those emotions that she Repressed because if those emotions of Negativity are repressed from your Parents or past lovers you will find a Way to soil your current relationships You'll always got to go ahead and Process it and process it and process it To the point where now you know it's Like a very very beautiful relationship That you know came after that and you Want to go ahead and repeat this for any Other person in the college trauma in Your life this is literally how you go Ahead and release it does that make
Sense and obviously it's hard to release It when you have a job obviously it's Hard to release it when you don't have Time it's obviously it's not easy to Release it when you have negative people Around you it was very hard for me to Release it when I was like stuck around Negative people So how I released it initially was two Things I need to create time or freedom And location freedom because if I had The location freedom I didn't have to go In and be stuck to these people I could Go to Bali and experience this myself if I had the money freedom I I don't have To go and work a job I can spend most of My time figuring out what are the the Things that I've learned from my parents And other people the bad behaviors that I'm now throwing onto all of my current Healthy relationships I can focus on Myself and if you want to go ahead and Find a way to get the location in time Freedom then make sure you check out the Links below if you want to start an E-commerce business check out the third Link if you want to start a personal Brand book a call with me and we'll help Launch your personal brand if you want To go ahead and for example you know Find the fastest and easiest way to make Money online check out the first link Below